


Oh, ho, my Witcher beau

by fictionalicious



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia is Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon's Parent, M/M, Not Beta Read, Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg Ships It, do people that are mentioned in the story count as characters?, god i hope it's not too ooc, idk they're all there either way, it's teen and up because there are two dirty puns, main relationship is geraskier the other two are implied, no angst whatsoever this is a total cheeseball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:09:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28328052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalicious/pseuds/fictionalicious
Summary: As soon as clock strikes one minute after midnight on December 1, Jaskier tries to rouse Geralt from his sleep, the emphasis being on ‘tries’. It takes five minutes of dedicated poking and tickling for Geralt to stir and grumble under his breath something about late nights and annoying bards, which said bard nobly chooses to ignore.“So I’ve been pondering over our plans for Christmas this year,” Jaskier says cheerily, “and at last come up with a splendid idea! I do hope you’re intrigued!”
Relationships: Aiden/Lambert (The Witcher), Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Tissaia de Vries/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Comments: 11
Kudos: 51





	Oh, ho, my Witcher beau

**Author's Note:**

> hello and welcome to this tiny christmas ficlet! :) 
> 
> so, for some background:  
> • geralt and other witchers are still witchers and yennefer is still a mage  
> • now i know that bards aren't a Thing™ anymore but they te ch nically still exist,,,, so,,,,  
> • roach is a big cat who likes to scratch furniture and people but is surprisngly cuddly  
> • i do not like triss for reasons given in the books so that's why she isn't featured here
> 
> and most importantly, all of the information about poland comes from the absolutely adorable @ love-and-cubs-and-white-wolves on tumblr :) (if i have got something wrong then it's my fault tho lol it is very late rn)

As soon as clock strikes one minute after midnight on December 1, Jaskier tries to rouse Geralt from his sleep, the emphasis being on ‘tries’. It takes five minutes of dedicated poking and tickling for Geralt to stir and grumble under his breath something about late nights and annoying bards, which said bard nobly chooses to ignore. 

“So I’ve been pondering over our plans for Christmas this year,” Jaskier says cheerily, “and at last come up with a splendid idea! I do hope you’re intrigued!”

“Hm,” replies his fiancé, whose eloquence is scant at the best of times and currently almost nonexistent, and yawns. Paying no mind to the sluggish state of his audience, Jaskier presses on. 

“Well, as you are aware, I am Polish. I mean, of course you know that, we’re engaged and you’re silly in love with me. If I wanted to embarrass you, dear heart, I could compare our love to the ocean, with its bottomless depths where glorious treasures lie – should I write this down, no, definitely far too cliché –“

“Jaskier, get to the point or it will be you who’s without a bottom,” gripes Geralt. 

Jaskier takes a deep breath. 

“I know I haven’t talked a lot about my childhood in Poland, but lately I’ve been thinking about Christmas back there. About how the family would all come together and we’d spend the evening making our own Christmas tree ornaments while waiting for the first star to appear. About the wafer and good wishes we’d exchange before dinner, and the presents that mysteriously appeared under the tree during it,” he blurts out, suddenly feeling self-conscious for no reason. 

“Those memories are, um, pretty much the only happy ones I have from childhood, and I’d really like to share some of my culture with Ciri, so I thought…” he trails off. Geralt’s eyes go soft and he takes Jaskier’s hands into his. 

“Of course, Jask.”

And that is how on December 24 they end up in their ‘sort of living room, sort of home office’ which is decorated with asymmetrical snowflakes and a wonky papier-mâché Olaf – concept and creation by Ciri – who unfortunately looks far closer to a certain anatomical feature than a happy-go-lucky snowman. 

Eskel is expertly simultaneously dodging Lil Bleater’s attempts at chewing at his pants and a fierce Ciri determined to best her uncle in a sword fight. Granted, Eskel isn’t currently wielding a sword and Ciri’s is made out of foam, but that’s neither here or there. 

“Yield!” cries Ciri, and promptly proceeds to jab Eskel in the back of his knee, causing him to stumble. He then dramatically feigns crumpling to the ground. Ciri’s victorious whoops, however, quickly turn into shrieks of delight as Eskel leaps up and hoists her over his shoulder in one swift movement, spinning her around. Geralt idly wonders how long it will take Ciri to notice the intricately carved wooden sword that has recently appeared at the display window of the toy store they regularly walk past, and more importantly, how long he is going to last before succumbing to his daughter’s puppy dog eyes and buying the damn thing. 

Yennefer and Tissaia sway gently to the mellow song playing in the background. It is so very different from others on the playlist that one might wonder whether it was added accidentally (and if asked, Geralt would simply pretend not to have heard the question).

_Pretty blue eyes  
Please come out today  
So I can tell you what I have to say  
That I love you, love you pretty blue eyes_

Geralt can’t help but look up and send a soft small smile Jaskier’s way, barely registering Lambert’s snort, instantly followed by a smack and a quiet yelp. 

After Ciri has yawned three times in a row in the duration of five minutes, Yennefer declares it is bedtime for little lion cubs. After Vesemir bribes her with a bedtime story about a courageous fair-haired princess defeating a terrible beast, Ciri goes fairly easily, clasping her hands behind his neck and smiling smugly at everyone else in the room, clearly satisfied with being taller than the others. 

The atmosphere changes slowly but surely with only grown-ups left in the room, mostly due to Jaskier changing the lyrics of the songs playing to create obscene wordplays. Waggling his eyebrows and winking at his fiancé when he comes up with an especially lewd line doesn’t particularly help either. 

„Oh, ho, my Witcher beau, hung and I can see,” sings Jaskier gleefully and dances out of the reach of Geralt’s arms. 

The strength of _grzaniec_ , Polish mulled wine, takes everyone by surprise. Renfri, who’s in charge of the music, heads to the kitchen to heat up a new batch, and thus makes the dire mistake of leaving her laptop unguarded on the living room table. She has barely managed to leave the room when Lambert launches himself off Aiden’s lap, grabs the laptop and hits shuffle on a playlist consisting solely of raunchy Christmas songs, some of them so salacious that the tips of Geralt’s ears turn red. 

Jaskier plops down next to him, throwing one arm around Geralt, or at least attempting to do so. 

“Did you know,” he begins, but is interrupted by a series of tiny hiccups, causing him to scrunch his nose, and Geralt’s breath catches. He is so very grateful for tiny moments like this to remind him of the unbelievably blessed life he’s living. Jaskier shifts and wiggles until he is sitting in Geralt’s lap. Content with both the new location and the ceasing of hiccups, he continues. 

“Did you know that when I was little, my aunt Katarzyna told me that at midnight on Christmas Eve, animals will be able to speak?” 

He gets lost in his thoughts for a moment, then cackles. 

“We should definitely ask Roach who’s her favourite.”

“Ah, yes,” Geralt says drily, “a very fair query indeed, considering the amount of treats you’ve been sneaking her.” 

Jaskier gasps in mock offense and is no doubt ready to deny ever even seeing a bag of cat food, but is distracted by a floating mistletoe right above their heads. He narrows his eyes at Yennefer, who smiles innocently and blows him a kiss; in response, Jaskier grins and makes a crude gesture. Geralt knows he must look besotted, what with him gazing at Jaskier with a stupidly fond expression, but can’t find it in himself to care. He leans in to kiss Jaskier softly and whispers:

“Merry Christmas, little lark.”

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic ever :)  
> (english isn't my first language so if you're a native speaker and notice any glaring mistakes do tell me, please be kind tho <3)
> 
> i hope you enjoyed it! <33 
> 
> come talk to me on tumblr @ ban-aard <3


End file.
